The non-teaching part of teaching

Like many others, I think I always wanted to teach because I had great teachers. I'm not talking about people that would just teach things well, but men and women who went beyond the material that they had to cover and would teach you through their own behavior and attitudes. A good teacher truly helps shaping us and our lives. I, for instance, would have never come to the US if it had not been for the encouragement and support of my professor/mentor/friend in Sevilla, Mª Luisa Venegas. What started in 2006 as a 1-year plan developed into something quite different that literally changed my life. 

As a professor, I consider it a privilege when students give us access to their personal lives by sharing with us experiences, fears, good news, plans... To me, it is one of the best and more meaningful parts of my job and somehow shows me that my students see me as more than just some woman giving them information that gets tested a few times per semester. But it can be hard too, particularly when I feel that I cannot help them. Remote classes have turned us all a bit into therapists, although I’m not implying that this is a good thing. There are specific people that are trained and qualified to do this, and most of us teaching are not in that group. However, we are the faces that students see regularly, the ones that communicate with them almost daily, the ones that ask them several times a week “how are you doing?”, and thus, the ones that get the answers. Unfortunately, these answers are not always positive ones. The current situation has made things harder for everyone, but particularly for those who were already struggling before and now feel more isolated than ever. It is no surprise that students having a hard time may feel the need to open up to us.

To our lack of training, though, we have to add our own challenges and situations. I personally worry about my family in Spain, physically and emotionally, as they have not been able to leave their small apartments in weeks; I worry about my aunt, who is a nurse and is dealing with an additional personal situation; I worry about not being able to see them soon; I worry about my in-laws, my friends, my community… And yes, I worry a lot about my students. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve had several of them share with me personal issues and challenges that they are dealing with. I’ve always directed them to the professionals when they were not already in touch with them, but I keep having this knot in my stomach because of my concern for their wellbeing and my inability to help them, just like I can’t help any of the people I mentioned above, near and far. Rationally, I know it is not my role and it is not even a good idea for me and try to help someone who may need professional support. Emotionally, I cannot just turn-off that feeling and keep going like it doesn’t affect me. 

It is interesting to think that a couple of weeks ago, my main source of stress was the logistics of this transition and my ability to do it smoothly and in a timely manner. Now, my main concern is my students’ ability to get through this situation and go back to some level of normal as soon as it is safe. 

When I started writing this blog, I did it hoping to create a log that would help me remember this process, my ideas, my teaching strategies. But lately there has been a shift in my reflection process towards the more personal aspect, as I feel it is blending with the professional more than ever before. 

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